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On Sunday I decided that people who say that they have no regrets in life should try eating an entire family size bag of Chex Mix in one sitting.

Monday proved that you know it’s a bad economy when you see a Hummer with a pizza delivery sign on it’s roof.

On Tuesday I encountered numerous giant Florida spiders around the house. It made my life feel like a SyFy Original Movie. But with better graphics.

Wednesday afternoon while at work I realized that if I had a nickel for each time I’ve accidentally hosted a meeting with my fly unzipped, I’d be a wealthy guy.

Thursday showed me that it’s always easier to negotiate with people when you’re holding a hammer.

I rounded out my week on Friday and decided that some days I feel like I would be more productive if I owned a bazooka.

Saturday I was at the grocery store and when I couldn’t decide between name brand and store brand, I wanted to trust the employee’s opinion, however, he had a neck tattoo so I naturally doubted his ability to make good life choices.

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