Having problems with constant urination? Is it preventing you from getting your work done on a daily basis? Are you starting to fear for your job? If so, imagine a world where you can get the hours you need, the schedule you want, and the ability to use that overactive bladder to your advantage. Put down the Detrol pills, stash away those adult diapers, and look into one of these exciting job postings that I have compiled for your viewing pleasure. I have scoured the Internet to bring you these exciting career opportunities that you may have never considered, yet be the perfect candidate for.

This interesting career option was found over on careerbuilder.com:

Firefighters Needed
Do you like helping people? If so, you should consider an exciting career in firefighting. In this fast paced and competitive discipline you will have to respond to emergency calls, get to the scene quickly and safely, and deal with snuffing out anything that happens to be on fire. You may also be responsible for operating the truck siren, which we hear is a lot of fun. As a candidate with an overactive bladder you may find yourself moving up quickly through the ranks from Firefighter to Lieutenant before you know it. It will be important that you are out on the front lines should the fire truck exhaust it’s water supply, if technical problems occur, or just in case some jerk’s station wagon is parked in front of the closest hydrant. Even if these situations present themselves, it will be comforting to all of those in your squad to know that they can depend on your overactive bladder to put out the blaze. Applicants should drink lots of fluids, and not break the seal until the appropriate time. Training classes beginning soon, no experience necessary. Apply now!

I located the following posting on the ever popular craigslist.org:

Immediate Openings Available in Medical Field
Hospitals are a busy place and you could be one step away from helping someone who is in pain. Now more than ever coastal towns across America are facing an epidemic of jellyfish attacks. In the last month alone there has been a massive influx of jellyfish returning to the Atlantic and Pacific from Asia and Australia as they prepare for the warm waters of the summer months and since they heard that George W. Bush was no longer in office. While we are appreciative of the sudden wildlife boom, we are not all happy about them assaulting locals and beachgoers in the tourist regions. We’re looking for well-qualified individuals with overactive bladders to be standing by in our emergency rooms to be prepared for these attacks. It’s well known scientific fact that urine neutralizes the venom of the jellyfish helping to relieve the pain and swelling until anti-venom can be injected or until that particular body part can be chopped off. The ideal applicant should be experienced urinating on different objects. On busy days you may be required to carry a water bottle and balance the fine line between a full bladder and water intoxication. Flexible hours, benefits, fast paced environment. R. Kelly need not apply.

And finally, this interesting job choice is directly from the job board on nasa.com:

Work for NASA
 Do you have an interest in the space program? Have you ever wanted to be an astronaut? Are you hoping to one day become a rocket scientist in one of our laboratories? If so, please stay in school and go study. If you’re still reading this then we at the National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA) are seeking self motivated males and females with overactive bladders to contribute urine to our Orion Program. As you may have read, we have spent years developing a urine recycler to be installed on the International Space Station sometime in the next decade. This will convert the crewmember’s urine into clean drinkable water and make the world a greener place. We’ve spent around thirty billion in tax dollars on this thing and we are still working out some kinks, namely that whole converting urine into water part. We’ve already hosted a handful of urine drives at various places around the United States, and you have to understand how embarrassing that was. We’ve called in all our favors and have hassled our family members enough. Position is full time with full benefits and offers lots of overtime. No experience necessary. We’ll pretty much take anyone. We’re desperate. Please, we need your pee.

Good luck on your job hunt. I wish you much success.*
Remember, your overactive bladder should not keep you from doing something you love.**

*None of these job postings are real. Please do not pursue them.
**But seriously, you should stick to taking the Detrol meds and wearing adult diapers in the interim.

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