For as long as I can remember my father has had a knack for getting heat stroke almost anywhere he goes: on family vacations, while running errands, during his workday, and while sitting very still in air-conditioned rooms.

I’ve already referenced this strange, almost supernatural ability of his in several columns, and I know there are more to come, so I thought I would take the opportunity to explain. Because my dad suffers from a disease called “Man Pride Syndrome” he often gets himself into situations that call for someone to stand up, take charge, and be the alpha male. The result of these actions typically end up causing him to stand outside in direct sunlight for long periods of time or physically move from one place to another multiple times in direct sunlight for long periods of time.

Years ago when my sister had enrolled in graduate school we had to move her from our home in Ohio into an apartment in Kansas City, Missouri. We took two vehicles and made the long haul into the west. Somewhere between Indiana’s borders my sister’s car developed a sense of humor and thought it would be hilarious to break down on the interstate. She coasted it off the road and onto an exit ramp where it was determined that we would call a tow truck and have it taken to a local shop. Within a short walking distance was a gas station so we called for help and decided to wait in the air-conditioned store for them to arrive. Suddenly my father’s Man Pride Syndrome flared up something fierce and he told us to stay inside and he would go stand with the car and wait. We tried to convince him that this was not necessary as we were on a fairly desolate road and in fact, my sister’s broken down heap was the only vehicle we could see for miles. This would not do so he left the store to stand with the car out in the blazing sun.

Over the course of the next hour, my mother, sister and I all stood at the window watching him. As locals came and went from the store they would pause to see what we were so focused on. It appeared that my father had become something of a local attraction as men and women would return to the gas station with their husbands and wives to watch him. Slowly but surely as his body began to soak up ultraviolet rays he began to slump over the side of the car, seeking shade in the back bumper region. Thankfully the towing folks arrived before he had completely melted into a puddle of tourist clothing and comb over.

He took the remainder of the day to recover and eventually we made it to Kansas City. With his Man Pride Syndrome still raging we proceeded to move all of my sister’s belongings into an apartment three flights up. The weather was still as hot as ever and by the end of it my dad decided to set some sort of personal record and conceded victory to the heat stroke a second time. It was only much later that he learned the best way to get his body back to normal temperature was to dunk his head into a cooler full of ice. This made for some great pictures in the family albums.

These are only two examples of times that he tried to spontaneously combust, and because of it’s frequency we can no longer as a family say, “Do you remember the time that dad got really bad heat stroke?” and all be revisiting the same memory in our minds.

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